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Two
Kinds of Forgiveness
Knowledge
Avoids Confusion & Injustice
by
Pastor John Hamel
Testimonial: "Thank you for sharing this very timely
word in season to the moment. We are having to deal with an extremely
unrepentant and very defiant wrongdoer in our lives who seeks to continually
hurt us and our family. God showed us that enough is enough and that we are
to shut the door on them. They have chosen to be shut outside of His
covering with continual lies, mocking and planned schemes against us. The
only door back into our lives is The Door - Jesus. This article has put this
to rest in my heart and confirmed that we are doing the right thing for their benefit. Thank you." L.D. England
JHM
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter
1: Forgiving Unintentional Hurts or Offenses
Chapter
2: Confronting Intentional Hurts or Offenses
A Personal Illustration
Compounding an Already Dangerous Problem
The Holy Spirit Speaks & Warns Supernaturally
Holding Their Feet to the Fire for Their Benefit
The Importance of Harboring No Ill Will
Top
Introduction
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and
anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice: and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians
4:31-32)
Next
to a lack of understanding righteousness,
refusing to forgive others who hurt or offend us is
possibly the greatest enemy of prayer.
If you are having trouble
forgiving, go to God with it, ask Him to help you
in Jesus’ Name. He will do
exactly that. He
is not angry with your struggle. He wants to help you with your
struggle.
I always say, "When you're in trouble,
run to God. Don't run away from Him. He's just waiting to help you."
Some
Christians find themselves struggling with un-forgiveness and wrongly
believe that until they get it dealt with, God will have nothing to do with
them. This is not true. God is our Father and He desires us to
approach Him for His help with all things, including the problem of
un-forgiveness.
"Let
us therefore come boldly unto the Throne of Grace, that we may obtain mercy,
and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)
Even
Jesus struggled with un-forgiveness at times. However, in His case, He never
yielded to it. But he was tempted by it. The Bible says that
Jesus was tempted in every way that we are tempted. Therefore, He is
certainly equipped to help us with the problem of un-forgiveness.
"For
we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our
infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without
sin." (Hebrews 4:15)
In
the Bible Jesus taught us that there are two kinds of forgiveness. Knowing the difference between the two can
avoid great confusion and
injustice. Let's
look at them.
Top
Chapter
1: Forgiving
Unintentional Hurts or Offenses
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have
ought against any: that your Father also which is in Heaven may
forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will
your Father which is in Heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25-26)
When someone sins against us unconsciously,
or unintentionally hurts or offends us, we are to forgive
him or her immediately.
This is the kind of forgiveness that Jesus is
talking about in the above verse of Scripture. This will become clearer as
you continue to read this study.
If someone did not
intend to harm us, yet somehow they managed to do exactly that, we must
forgive and release them immediately, without question and without confrontation.
It
is quite common, in their humanity, for others to both say and do offensive,
hurtful things to us because they simply did not consider the consequences
of their words or actions. There was no malice, maybe just a little
insensitivity or maybe even stupidity.
When
this occurs we have a God-given mandate to immediately and whole-heartedly
forgive them. Holding a grudge and refusing to forgive unintentional hurts
or offenses could result in severe consequences.
Jesus
said if we do not forgive unintentional hurts or offenses, we cannot be
forgiven by God. This type of disobedient
behavior could quite easily block the spout where God's provision
and protection come out.
The
Born Again Christian can simply no longer afford to live with un-forgiveness
in their heart.
However, there is another situation
concerning forgiveness which Jesus also addressed in the Bible. This
situation is when people intentionally hurt or offend us.
This type of situation is to be handled quite
differently indeed.
Top
Chapter
2: Confronting
Intentional Hurts or Offenses
“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother
trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And
if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day
turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt
forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4)
Initially,
here in Luke 17, it may sound to the un-initiated hearer that Jesus is
contradicting what He said in Mark 11:25. There He said, "When ye
stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any."
Yet
here, Jesus said if a brother or a sister trespass against us we are to
rebuke them and only if they repent are we to forgive them.
However,
this seeming contradiction is cleared up immediately when we realize that Jesus was
obviously talking about those who sin against us unconsciously or
unintentionally in Mark 11:25.
But here, in Luke 17 He is quite obviously
referring to when an individual sins against us consciously and
intentionally.
Jesus
clearly differentiates between these two sets of circumstances.
Here, in Luke 17, Jesus refers to one individual sinning against
another individual consciously and intentionally, even at times with malice in mind. In that
situation we are to rebuke or to censure
that individual, letting them know their behavior is
unacceptable.
Jesus instructs us to actually confront them, rebuke
them if necessary, letting them know that they
wrongly crossed our boundaries. If they desire to continue the relationship,
we must require they apologize and offer some sort of assurance that it
will not happen again.
In some cases this may even require the
intentional offender to make restitution.
If they repent as a result of being lovingly
but firmly rebuked, we are to restore them immediately.
If they should make the same
mistake again, realizing their error and repenting again, we are to forgive them
again, no matter how frequently we must do so.
On the other hand, if they refuse to repent
for having intentionally hurt or offended us,
then we must continue to walk in love toward them but avoid them and censure
them.
"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them
which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have
learned; and avoid them." (Romans 16:17)
This way they will get the message that they
have violated our
reasonable boundaries.
This way they will get the message that they
will not be allowed to continue to do.
This way they will get the message that
unless they are willing to restore broken trust, there can be no
fellowship.
Sometimes the best way you can walk in love towards someone is to avoid
them entirely until they learn how to conduct themselves honestly and with
dignity.
The
wisdom of God dictates that we avoid troublemakers or they will clobber us.
"A
prudent person sees trouble coming and ducks; a simpleton walks in blindly
and is clobbered." (Proverbs 27:12 Message Bible)
Top
A Personal
Illustration
I
once had a personal friend of twenty-six years. He was a believer who was
called to preach the Gospel but he was not completely prepared to do
so. My wife and I very generously provided him with over 300 of my
very best outlines for preaching and teaching. He believed he had a Calling
on his life to preach the Gospel in South America and we determined to help
him.
While
home from South America itinerating and raising money for his South American
ministry, he came through Nashville, Tennessee, where we lived. We
very generously hosted him and his new wife. We placed them in a hotel, paid
for all of their meals while they were here, filled their automobile with
gasoline and sent them on their way with a very generous cash offering.
Soon
after their departure from Nashville, I visited his website, something I did not
often do. To my shock and dismay I discovered he had taken multiple
articles from my Ministry website and moved them to his website without
asking my permission.
I also noticed that he made absolutely no
changes whatsoever to any of the articles - with one exception. He
removed my name as the author from every one of those articles.
In most cases he had replaced my name with
his own name. In other cases he simply left my name off, knowing the
reader would assume he wrote it.
He had even gone so far as to put his name
on one of my major personal supernatural testimonies as if he had
experienced it and not me.
It
was not enough that we had given him over 300 of my best outlines. He
had to steal more and put his name on them.
To
pour salt in the wound, all of these plagiarized articles were sitting on
his website while we were hosting him and his wife in Nashville, Tennessee.
In
obedience to Jesus' command to confront and rebuke him, I contacted
him. I told him I had discovered what he had done. I informed him that it was
plagiarism and against both the Law of God and the law of man. I
respectfully demanded an apology, the removal of the articles and assurance
that it would never happen again.
But
notice, I did not automatically offer him forgiveness. Reason being,
he had not sinned against me unintentionally, but rather he had sinned
against me quite intentionally.
This
was not a simple, unintentional human mistake. This was a deliberate act of
theft and plagiarism as a conscious decision of his own God-given free will.
Top
Compounding
an Already Dangerous Problem
In
place of immediately repenting, my Minister friend chose to play dumb.
He insisted he did not know what I was talking about. I told him the
exact articles he had plagiarized from my website and exactly where they
were on his website.
Yet,
he continued to insist that he did not know what I was referring to while
the articles began to slowly disappear from his website, one at a
time. Sadly, this man to this day has refused to acknowledge any
wrongdoing whatsoever.
He
has refused to repent and apologize but he did do the following.
This
Minister of the Gospel began to slander me and falsely accuse me of having
no credibility to any and all individuals whom he was concerned I might
contact concerning his plagiarism of my copyrighted materials. In
doing so he simply compounded his problem.
I
reminded him of Jesus' command in Matthew's Gospel to make right his wrongs
or he would suffer the consequences.
"Therefore,
if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother
has ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy
way; first be reconciled to thy brother and then come and offer thy gift.
Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him;
lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge and the judge
deliver thee to the officer and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto
thee, thou shalt by no means come out thence til thou hast paid the
uttermost farthing." (Matthew 5:23-26)
I
kindly, but firmly, warned him again and again that if he did not admit what
he had done by plagiarizing from my website and fearfully destroying my
credibility with those he did, he could lose his present new position as the
Dean of a Word of Faith Bible school in Bolivia, South America - if not
something worse.
He
continued to deny wrongdoing and refused to repent.
He
refused to be reconciled as Jesus instructed.
Since
my wife saw my teaching articles on his website with his name on them, she
also confronted him as the second witness to his plagiarism, which Jesus
requires. The Minister played dumb with her as well.
"Moreover
if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault
between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy
brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more,
that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be
established." (Matthew 18:15-16)
In
spite of being confronted by two witnesses, this compromised Minister
refused to repent for what he had done. Not only had he plagiarized my
materials, but he had now lifted his hand to destroy my credibility with
anyone to whom he feared I might report him.
Now
I was further obligated by the solemn charge of Jesus Christ to report him
to his Church leadership.
"And
if he neglect to hear them (two witnesses), tell it unto the Church
(leadership): but if he neglect to hear the Church (leadership), let him be
unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." (Matthew 18:17)
Doing
as Jesus instructed, I now informed his Bible school leadership that he had
plagiarized my website materials after I had generously given him over 300
of my sermons and that he was presently slandering me to cover his
tracks.
When
confronted by his leadership, he lied again, destroying my credibility with
his spiritual leader as well. The administrator of the Bolivian Word of
Faith Bible school chose to believe that I was lying and he took sides with
his compromised Bible school Dean.
From
that point my responsibility was to now treat the compromised Bible school
Dean like a heathen man and a publican, even as Jesus
instructed.
How
do we treat heathens? We pray for them.
How
did individuals treat publicans (tax collectors) in Jesus' day?
They
stayed clear of them.
Top
The
Holy Spirit Speaks & Warns Supernaturally
Soon
thereafter the Holy Spirit gave me a Word
of Wisdom concerning the fallen Minister.
The
Holy Spirit told me to tell him that he would indeed now lose
his position as the Dean of the Bible school in Bolivia if he did not repent
immediately.
I informed the Bible school Dean what the Holy Spirit
said and the Dean arrogantly told me, "Oh, will you get over this
judgment thing please. God's not going to judge
anybody."
He
not only mocked me, but he mocked the word of the Lord.
Less
than one term into his first year as the Dean of the Bolivian Bible school,
my compromised friend discovered that the Bolivian government had suddenly refused to
grant him and his wife permanent visa status.
Previously
convinced that something like this could never happen, he
was forced to abruptly leave Bolivia even as the Lord had me tell him.
He
suddenly lost his position as Dean of the Bible school even as the Lord had
me tell him.
To
this day we continue to pray Godly sorrow for the Minister who plagiarized
copyrighted materials from my website, lying and slandering me to cover up
what he had done.
To
this day he refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing whatsoever, whether it be
plagiarizing, lying or slandering. We continue to pray for him and to
respectfully dis-fellowship
him until he makes right his wrongs as Jesus commanded.
Soon
he will face even stricter judgment if he continues to dig in his heels and
play the devil's fool.
"He
that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh
them shall have mercy." (Proverbs 28:13)
Anytime
we must confront an intentional offender who absolutely refuses to repent, God
will eventually allow them to be judged.
"He
that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed,
and that without remedy." (Proverbs 29:1)
Sadly,
far too many prideful Christians wrongly interpret much time given to repent
as an unwillingness on Holy God's
part to allow them to be judged. This deception is only further under girded
by the modern-day heresy known as "Hyper-Grace,"
which teaches Christians they must never repent, for God does not judge
individuals or nations.
Equally
as sad, many modern Christians today view God only
as their loving Benefactor and Father, a "Sugar Daddy" of sorts,
overlooking the fact that He is also our Lawgiver and just Judge.
"One
only is the Lawgiver and Judge Who is able to save and to destroy [the One
Who has the absolute power of life and death]." (James 4:12
AMP)
Top
Holding
Their Feet to the Fire for Their Benefit
Jesus
commands us to confront and rebuke those who intentionally hurt or offend us
for their sake. Even our own personal family members are not exempt from
Christ's command to confront them when they are the intentional offender.
This
is to hopefully bring the intentional offender to repentance before judgment has to come.
"For
if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are
judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with
the world." (1Corinthians 11:31-32)
It
is explicitly for their benefit that Jesus commands us to hold the offender's feet to
the fire concerning their intentional, premeditated wrongdoing.
Regardless
of how difficult or uncomfortable, it
is what love would do.
Love
warns the reckless, speeding driver when the bridge is out immediately
ahead.
Top
The
Importance of Harboring No Ill Will
However,
it is important that when we have to hold a brother or sister's feet to the
fire concerning intentional wrongdoing, we harbor no ill-will in our hearts
towards them whatsoever.
We must
willingly release all bitterness and
resentment. We are to treat them with respect and dignity, but Jesus
said we are not to forgive them, meaning restore them, until they repent and
begin to do whatever is necessary to restore the trust they have broken.
If
the offending party finally
does repent, we must restore them immediately, giving them every opportunity
to make restoration and to begin the process of restoring broken
trust.
We must keep in mind at all times that the
offender's repentance and restoration is the whole idea behind obediently rebuking and censuring
them.
When
the Corinthian Church was forced to rebuke and censure a young man for
intentionally sinning against one of his own family members, they resisted
restoring him once he had repented.
The
Apostle Paul corrected them for their unwillingness to restore the young
man, commanding that they restore him in his repentance, lest they drive him
away from Christ altogether.
Listen
to what Paul told the Corinthian Church members.
"Now is the time to forgive this man
and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour
on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it." (2 Corinthians 2:7
Message Bible)
Christians
must be as quick to obey the Bible command to restore the penitent as they
are to initially rebuke them.
In
the Bible Jesus taught us that there are two kinds of forgiveness, not just
one.
He
said we must immediately forgive unintentional hurts or offenses. (Mark
11:25-26)
But
He also said we must confront and require repentance, and at times even
restitution, concerning intentional hurts and offenses. (Luke 17:3-4)
Knowing the difference between the two kinds of forgiveness can
avoid
great confusion and even injustice for the intentionally hurt or offended.
Many
Christians wrongly believe that unintentional hurt and offense, as well as
intentional hurt and offense, should both be immediately forgiven.
You
now know this is not what Jesus taught in the Bible.
You
now know Jesus taught two kinds of forgiveness, not just one.
See
"Understanding the Holy
Spirit's Caring Correction" for more Bible teaching.
Be Blessed in Jesus' Strong Name ... John and Barbara
Hamel
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